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I love learning new things, and this week I learned that crunchy, silky and scrunchy are terms used to describe different kinds of moms. Since I can’t be the only person who didn’t know moms are now defined by textures, I’ll give you a brief overview of what each means.
Crunchy: Moms that go with the natural option. This includes home/unmedicated birth, exclusive breastfeeding until the child weans themselves, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, bed sharing, cloth diapering, and attachment parenting. These moms are pro organic eating and natural medicine and are often vegetarians. They are anti-vaccination, anti circumcision and anti-plastic.
Silky: Moms that prefer a medicated, hospital birth, disposable diapers, crib sleeping, cry-it out sleep training, feed their baby formula +/- breastmilk, use approved medications. These moms are pro vaccination and pro circumcision.
Scrunchy (am I the only one who thinks big 90s ponytail holder here?): Moms that are a mix of crunchy and silky.
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Regardless of what terminology you use, the most vocal of the current culture push that you aren’t as good of a mom if you aren’t exemplifying the characteristics of a crunchy mom.
What Am I?
I am SOOO not a crunchy mom. I am very much silky. Does that make me a bad mom? Let me explain why I don’t fit the bill for crunchy.
- There was no natural birth for me. As soon as the pain set in, I demanded all the drugs STAT. I guess I was doomed to be a non crunchy mom from the start.
- I am pro disposable diapers. I just can’t wrap my head around having to do anything more than ball up Paxton’s dirty diapers and toss them. Cloth ones may be cute and eco-friendly, but you won’t find Paxton wearing them anytime soon.
- Give my kid all the vaccinations! As a pharmacist I have been fully educated on all the scary diseases vaccines prevent, so I would like my child to be protected from those. He will be vaccinated according to the well-thought out CDC schedule, and I will make sure the doctor doesn’t forget. I was the mom that kept reminding the hospital that Paxton needed his first Hep B shot before leaving because that series should be started at birth.
- Organic produce is too expensive in most cases. I have survived this long on ‘regular’ produce, I will continue my cost saving efforts and buy from the regular section of the grocery store regardless of whether it’s for Paxton or me.
- Where does one get coconut oil? Supposedly, this is the cure for everything, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually owned a container (bottle, tub, jug,…??) of it. Instead I go with whatever generic medication my pharmacy school knowledge tells me I need.
- Paxton has never shared a bedroom with us, let alone a bed. He started sleeping in his crib in his own room the day we brought him home from the hospital. He has never, nor will he ever share our bed, except maybe to snuggle and watch some Saturday morning cartoons.
- I did give breastfeeding a try. Basically I figured if I was making it, I may as well save myself the money that I would have to spend on formula. Actually, breastfeeding didn’t work out so well, so Paxton has had at least some formula since he was about 5 weeks old. I completely gave up on breastfeeding at 5.5 months. And oh yeah, to top it off, he is stuck drinking generic formula. Despite this, we are all much happier with this arrangement.
- The formula Paxton drinks, yeah it comes out of *gasp* plastic bottles. Paxton also eats food that has been prepared in plastic, stored in plastic, microwaved in plastic – you get the picture. Oh yeah, and he also has plenty of plastic toys that he LOVES to chew on. I get the impression he thinks the sole purpose of plastic toys is for chewing on them.
- Paxton eats prepackaged snacks relatively often. Yeah, we do try to feed him healthy food the majority of the time, but we are not above giving him a cracker or yogi or puff or plenty of other things that come out of a box and I’m sure have been highly preserved. I do make the majority of Paxton’s baby food, but he’s also eaten his share of store bought.
- I don’t want my kid sitting in front of the TV excessively, but if that’s what I need to do once in a while, then it happens. And yes, Paxton enjoys watching the men in bright colors run all over the screen (aka football).
This is not, I repeat – NOT, meant to put down any moms reading this that do any/all of the above. With the exception of not vaccinating, I believe all of the other points are very worthy goals. Way to go mama if you can do any of them consistently. I am not able to do any of these, and I’m okay with that. My kid is fed, healthy and generally happy. So, here’s to all the other okay moms out that that have fed and generally happy kids – I’ll raise my can of artificially sweetened, cancer-causing Diet Coke to you! But then again everything in California causes cancer these days.
If you are in my boat, but want to try to be more crunchy, check out this how-to article. https://www.scarymommy.com/how-to-be-a-crunchy-mom-in-12-easy-steps/
If you are like me and happy in your silky ways, you may find these other articles I’ve written useful.
If you are feeling guilty about not being crunchy enough, check out this article which puts mom perfectionism into perspective.
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Mom, wife, veterinary pharmacist, equestrian, ice cream lover and occasional hot mess