Second Pregnancy: The Secrets No One Tells You

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Second Pregnancy: The Secrets No One Tells You

So, this pregnancy has been 180% different from my first!

Let me explain…

My first was for the most part, perfect. No food aversions, no serious mood issues, nothing crazy. I could tell my first baby had a schedule after a bit of time. She would be up and about by 10 a.m., and a few other active times during the day. She would move around of course, but not enough to stop me in my tracks or anything like that. I worked at my job up until a month before her due date, and everything went well during delivery.

See? Surely the second one will be just as easy.

Right?

Not exactly!

One year and seven months later, I was pregnant with my second child.

Now, as far as the secrets go…

All bets are off.

Despite this being another baby girl, I had severe nausea and could only eat certain things, but with my first, I could eat anything! Also, this baby is constantly moving. There’s no such thing as a “schedule.” She is up and about 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. She is a constant hyper mess, ready to enter the world at any moment.

I could work all the way through the first pregnancy, but with this one, I have had to stay on the couch most of the day for the last three months of the pregnancy. Severe contractions begin in the amount of time it takes to take half a shower. Ouch!

New, challenging factors can weigh in on you that you have never dealt with before.

I was at a point where my job was stressing me out. I was having daily headaches, and the doctor had just taken me off that medication as it was not good to take while pregnant. I knew I needed to find an alternative job so that I could make it through. But, in the meantime, I was crying four times a day for reasons I’m still not sure about.

Prenatal Depression is real… And it is terrifying.

I could tell I was losing who I was, and quick. I looked to the internet for help, and it appeared that I was suffering from prenatal depression. Who knew that was even a thing? I told my doctor about it, and I was promptly prescribed medication. This medicine, like the kind I took for headaches, was also risky to take with the baby.

So, what’s a girl to do?

I waited to see if things changed after switching jobs- lucky for me, they did. I never had to take the medication, but I do know that if I would not have changed my situation, it would have been an absolute necessity.

You’ll feel like you made a mistake. 

I did. I wondered why I ever decided to have children so close in age, when my first is still a “baby” herself. She has also had to deal with the fact that my every other phrase is “be careful with belly,” as she tries to climb all over me.


Related Content

The Final Secret: None of these things matter.

Sure, your pregnancy can be completely different from the last. You may have things occur that you didn’t expect to happen. You might feel like you made the wrong move for your family. You may go through serious changes that you never accounted for.

But, you know what? It’s all temporary feelings.

You begin to realize that you’re going to be okay, with medication or without, with the same job or a different one, and if you’re limited on how long you can stand. Or, something else could happen while you’re pregnant. Every mom is unique and we all find ourselves in different situations.

You will wake up one day and realize this is the decision that you made for your family and that your child will be a fabulous big sister or brother. You’ll have the comfort of knowing that they both will have each other, and that bond will be so special. You will be able to love both of your children. And you’ll know that when they are sitting together, giggling with one another, running around outside together, or falling asleep with one another that you made the right decision. Creating life is a miracle, no matter when it happens. Embrace it! All of it is worth it.

How did your second pregnancy differ from your first?  Let me know in the comments.  

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48 thoughts on “Second Pregnancy: The Secrets No One Tells You

  • January 22, 2019 at 6:15 pm
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    I also have two daughters and the pregnancies were drastically different. My first was way more difficult but I think it’s because I didn’t know what to expect. By the time the second rolled around it was old hat. They were also spaced apart by 4 years so that helped tremendously.

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    • January 22, 2019 at 6:26 pm
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      That’s true, I remember looking up every question I had about my first pregnancy because I didn’t know what to expect either! How do your children get along now being 4 years apart?

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      • January 22, 2019 at 9:09 pm
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        I also looked up everything while I was pregnant. That’s part of what motivated me to start my blog 🙂

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        • January 22, 2019 at 10:08 pm
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          That is awesome! I can see how that would motivate. There’s so many different subjects to cover for sure!

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    • January 22, 2019 at 9:11 pm
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      Did you find that overall you felt good both pregnancies, or was there a difference in nausea and exhaustion?

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  • January 22, 2019 at 7:45 pm
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    That’s crazy to hear. I can’t fathom what sort of roller coaster rides pregnant women must be riding on.

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    • January 22, 2019 at 9:08 pm
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      It is definitely a crazy ride! I’ve only been pregnant once, and definitely would have fallen into the trap of expecting the second time to be as easy as the first.

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  • January 22, 2019 at 9:06 pm
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    Though I haven’t started having children yet, many of my friends who have had drastically different pregnancy experiences with all their children. All bets certainly are off. lol!

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    • January 22, 2019 at 9:27 pm
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      There is some much difference between each person and each pregnancy; you really can’t compare it to anything.

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      • January 22, 2019 at 10:10 pm
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        I agree. We are all going to go through something a bit different. You may have some bumps in the road during the pregnancy but getting to meet the bundle of joy makes all the hurdles seem like a distant memory 🙂

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  • January 23, 2019 at 1:18 am
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    My two pregnancies were identical! It’s so different for every woman.

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    • January 23, 2019 at 11:33 pm
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      It’s crazy how much it can vary from person to person!

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  • January 23, 2019 at 1:46 am
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    I have never been pregnant, but as someone who works with infants, everything you said is so true! Even 2 babies from the same parents can be completely different. It’s very fascinating. Also, postpartum depression is talked about somewhat frequently now, but not prenatal. I hope that that becomes a more discussed topic soon.

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    • January 23, 2019 at 11:34 pm
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      I really hope the mental health stigma keeps decreasing so we can talk about prenatal and postpartum depression!

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  • January 23, 2019 at 3:10 am
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    Mine have been different too from cravings to energy levels! This last month has been really rough but I haven’t had swelling like I did with baby #1!

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    • January 23, 2019 at 11:35 pm
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      That’s great that you haven’t had to deal with bad swelling!

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  • January 23, 2019 at 4:16 am
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    My pregnancies were sooo different from each other. I for one could not wait to get my second out, and my first came early i wasn’t even expecting him yet!

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    • January 23, 2019 at 11:35 pm
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      The first one being the early baby is a flip from the traditional! I guess that’s why you never know what to expect with pregnancy!

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  • January 23, 2019 at 4:29 am
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    This is such a great post! I’ve only had one and my pregnancy definitely had it’s ups and downs. But I hear from everyone that each pregnancy can be so different from the others. I’m excited for a second kid! But also worried about how to be a mom while also being pregnant!

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    • January 23, 2019 at 11:36 pm
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      I totally agree! The thought of dealing with morning sickness and exhaustion why chasing around a toddler is daunting!

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      • January 24, 2019 at 8:18 pm
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        I think the scariest part for me was not having my afternoon nap like I did with my first child 😂 those little things matter! If I had it to do over again I would have napped when my daughter napped instead of catching up on cleaning. You make it through, either way though! 🙂

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  • January 23, 2019 at 11:14 am
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    Both of my pregnancies were mostly very similar. However, with my first (my daughter), I continued to run 2-3 times per week until I was about 36 weeks pregnant. With my second pregnancy (my son), I ran a few times in the beginning, but that was it. I just walked for a half hour a couple mornings a week. The one thing I noticed was how fast the secon pregnancy goes when you have a toddler to entertain and chase after! It’s all worth it though. Good luck in the final weeks!

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    • January 23, 2019 at 11:37 pm
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      I worked out a lot during my pregnancy, but I’m not sure I would have had the energy if I was chasing a toddler around.

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  • January 23, 2019 at 2:37 pm
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    Except you’re a newbie parent or you have not been close to someone who’s been pregnant before, you will know that no 2 pregnancies are the same. My wife was aware of her first one like 17 seconds after conceiving, while she did not realize she was pregnant with the third until she was past her first trimester.
    The only thing one can wish and pray for is a healthy baby and all those pangs and stress will well worth it in the long run.

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    • January 23, 2019 at 11:38 pm
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      Wow that’s crazy that she made it through the first trimester without realizing she was pregnant!

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  • January 23, 2019 at 10:21 pm
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    My first (and only pregnancy) was a twin pregnancy, it was also a “mild” pregnancy until the third trimester. Then the swollen feet and huge belly were killing me. I decided after that that I would not attempt a second pregnancy. I’ve already got 2 babies, so I think I’m set! I got lucky with my 2 for 1 deal.

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    • January 23, 2019 at 11:38 pm
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      I always thought it would be fun to have twins, but I can’t imagine having two babies to juggles everything with at the same time. One keeps me busy enough.

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  • January 23, 2019 at 11:09 pm
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    My second pregnancy was incredible! My second has been the easiest of them all!!
    Trish
    http://www.habibihouse.net

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    • January 23, 2019 at 11:39 pm
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      An easy pregnancy is always a nice surprise!

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  • January 23, 2019 at 11:38 pm
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    Thank you for your candid sharing of your feelings. Mothers are amazing,…toughest, most important job ever.

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    • January 23, 2019 at 11:39 pm
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      It tough but definitely rewarding!

      Reply
  • January 24, 2019 at 1:37 am
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    My second and third were so much easier than my first. I’m amazed I had more kids after the first one lol. Each pregnancy is different. You are totally right–those feelings of depression will only be temporary.

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    • January 24, 2019 at 10:51 pm
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      The uncertainty with the first seems like it would make it even harder.

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  • January 24, 2019 at 1:49 am
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    I feel at time I am repeating myself but I am so glad that blogging has taken shape such as this. When I was a new mom I only had so many people to ask for advice or for experiences and now these days you go to a search engine or blog group and you can get a world of information within seconds. Wonderful job. Wonderful mom. Keep it up.

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    • January 24, 2019 at 10:52 pm
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      Searching everything on the internet while I was pregnant and a brand new mom (heck I still do it) is part of the reason I decided to start blogging.

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  • January 24, 2019 at 7:14 am
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    Both of my pregnancies were drastically different, but not because of the symptoms, more so the entire situation. I lost my first baby to Trisomy18. This made the second pregnancy very stressful and very different from the first.

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    • January 24, 2019 at 10:52 pm
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      I’m sorry to hear about your first baby, but I’m glad the second pregnancy was better despite the added stress.

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  • January 24, 2019 at 12:11 pm
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    I have 2 girls too and the pregnancies were very different! I thought my second was going to be a boy because of how different it was. With my first I had no sickness and had no issues. With my second I was so sick all I could do was lay there on the couch for 2 months. It will be interesting to see what the next pregnancy will be like!

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    • January 24, 2019 at 8:20 pm
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      Oh my goodness!! I thought my second was going to be a boy also. Everyone was surprised it was another girl! At least there’s hand me down clothes 😉

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      • January 24, 2019 at 10:53 pm
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        Hand-me-down clothes are definitely a perk!

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    • January 24, 2019 at 10:53 pm
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      I wonder what causes all these differences if they aren’t related to gender like some people have suggested.

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  • January 24, 2019 at 11:33 pm
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    Yes! All three of my pregnancies were very different! With my third kiddo I had round the clock nausea that made me lose 30 lbs. He is the best sleeper of all my kids though lol

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  • January 25, 2019 at 1:47 am
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    This is such a good post, women should be celebrated with the things they have to go through while pregnant.

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  • January 26, 2019 at 6:35 am
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    Pregnancies are different as the personalities of the children born to you are different. As you rightly shared, at the end of the day we forget all the challenges that came with pregnancy and birthing and just love our kids

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  • January 27, 2019 at 1:17 am
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    It can be so hard and yet such a blessing at the same time. I know I struggled with each of my pregnancies when I tried to wrap my mind around how life was going to be different. And you’re right, it wasn’t easy, but it was worth it!

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  • January 27, 2019 at 9:03 pm
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    This is a great read. I have been considering a second and am worried about everything you described above. I appreciate the honesty and feel even better hearing you say that it’s all worth it 🙂

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    • January 29, 2019 at 1:45 am
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      Every pregnancy is so different, I think sometimes we have to jump off the cliff and trust that God will be our parachute.

      Reply

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